This week in Year 5, we have been writing our own recounts based on the 1969 Moon Landing. We have focused on using a variety of time connectives and varying our sentence length for effect. Below is Aarthy's recount:
Miraculously, the first Moon landing occurred when the Americans sent three astronauts (Neil Armstrong, "Buzz" Aldrin and Michael Collis) to the colossal Moon on the 20th July 1969. At that precise moment, it was 4:17pm EDT (Eastern Daylight Time).
The towering rocket that transported them, Apollo 11, was triumphantly landed by NASA. The rocket zoomed across the sky hitting speeds of 17,000mph, as rapid as a cheetah dashing towards its foe hiding in the fresh green grass.
In the midst of the Cold War angst, the Americans specifically chose this date to overtake the Russian's previous space achievements. However, this wasn't the end of the war.
I like the way you have used brackets to include additional information Aarthy. Remember to re-read your work to check that all of your sentences make sense.
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