This week in Year 5, we have been studying the 1969 Moon landing. We read recounts and based on the information we gathered, wrote our own newspaper reports. Below is Samantha's:
MOON-WALK MAN!
Written
by Louise Roxane Hailey
At approximately
4:17pm, an extraordinary miracle occurred. Ecstatic Neil Armstrong powerfully landed on the moon, and, full of joy, he
stabbed the American flagto on the rocky surface.
At that precise moment, Neil Armstrong confidently explained: "One small step for man,
one giant leap for mankind!" like a trumpeting ear-splitting elephant. Afterwards
‘Buzz’ Aldrin, another astronaut, joined his colleague on the orbiting sphere.
Armstrong and his crew travelled in the magnificent rocket Apollo 11, reaching speeds of up to 17,000mph.
Good job Samantha. 6F thought that the quote from Neil Armstrong made the report sound like an authentic newspaper article. The drop-in clauses were effective at adding extra information and the technical verbs such as 'orbiting' made your writing sound sophisticated. Our next step would be to choose your similes really carefully. Maybe this piece doesn't necessarily need one? Just a thought! Well done!
ReplyDelete6F you have written a very accurate evaluation and I agree with all of your comments. I was also impressed with the powerful adjectives and adverbs used within the recount.
ReplyDeleteWell done Samantha!