In Year 5 we have been reading 'Street Child' by Berlie Doherty. We have written diary entries from Jim Jarvis, a Victorian child, who has suffered a series of unfortunate events and is now being forced to live in the workhouse.
This is an entry from Juvan in 5E.
Friday, 3rd January 1873
Dear Diary,
As the days quickly passed by, Ma whispered to leave because she was too ill to sleep in the crooked bed. But the saddest thing is that I can’t see my stricken sisters again although they were a bit annoying. Also I feel very sorry for my mother because she’s sick…
So, I know that she has to be respected with… LOVE! So, I will earn 5 shillings for my mum by working so very hard. Even though I’m very stricken, I’ll still try hard to earn a shilling! But, as I walked to the coin factory, I accidentally breathed in carbon dioxide…
From Jim.
5E,
ReplyDeleteThank you for you diary entry. In 6R we have been reminiscing about when we learned about Street Child, a book we thoroughly enjoyed. Here are our "two ticks (or pluses) and a wish" for you.
+ structural features of diary (e.g. date, Dear...., signoff)
+ time connective to start
* consider appropriateness of punctuation (e.g. ! and ...)
We look forward to reading your next piece of writing!
6R