6B atmospheric writing

This week in Year Six we have been learning about the features of atmospheric writing. We created our own battle scene descriptions and used lots of techniques to draw the reader in. What features can you see in this WAGOLL?


Tottering, crumbling soldiers, who are drenched in mud, hasten past revolting trenches. Even their unfortunate faces are covered. Flares skyrocket up to the clouds, touching the glistening stars.
 "Gas masks on boys!". Pete, my old friend, clutches my shoulder with frozen hands. I forget to breathe. It impedes my body. My sight, which is disadvantaged by the poisonous green gas, causes me to collapse. I am shaking. I am filled with stress. My unconsciousness beats me...


Flabbergasted that my gas mask has fallen off. The stench of the repellent, horrendous gas engulfs my lungs. I inhale, it's too late! Depressed I try to save myself. Nevertheless it is inside me now. Full of grief, my eyes start to blur. My lungs turn into lava hot fire balls, Coughing like a hag, I dart away. I tug my gas mask on. I don't care where I am headed so long as it is away from this traumatising hell. I emerge. I desperately tear my mask off, grasping for sweet, fresh air. Violently vomiting lumps of my innocent soul, I realise I am safe now.


The brutal gas finally begins to leave my wretched body and I settle. Surprised, I feel a shiver on my back. "Is there someone behind me?" I think to myself. Slowly but silently I turn round "Please God, I beg for your mercy!"... A Hun, a Hun holding his enormous riffle, looking at me with a stone glare. Overwhelmed by dread, numbed by it, I wait. Seconds pass. I am waiting for my end... 


Pola 6B