This week, 5G have been looking at using description for effect. We have written descriptions of a volcano erupting as we have been reading a story about a boy who lived in Pompeii in 79 A.D. when Mt. Vesuvius erupted. This is an extract from Teja's description, we hope you enjoy it!
In 79 A.D. a terrible catastrophe befell the city of Pompeii. It was built in the menancing shadow of Mt. Vesuvius and one ill-fated day, the volcano erupted! It buried the city, leaving nothing but ash and the hardening lava as a testament to the terrible destruction that occurred.
The first evidence of the coming eruption was the rumbling, like that of a giant's belly, deep beneath the mountain. A little while later, this was followed by smoke dancing out of the mouth of the mountain, forming great clouds like those that covered the sky on stormy nights. Suddenly, with a deafening roar, ash and magma poured out of the gaping crater at the top of the volcano and began to race eagerly towards the doomed city.
I enjoyed reading your description Teja. I was impressed by your use of commas and connectives. Well done!
ReplyDelete1M really loved reading the description on a volcano erupting. We particularly enjoyed reading your simile, describing the rumble of the volcano to be like that of a giant's belly.
ReplyDelete6F thought you used personification to good effect Teja. This helped to really bring the volcano 'alive' in our imaginations. Adjectives such as: menacing and deafening were particularly well chosen as well.
ReplyDeleteViet thought that maybe you could try to up-level one of the 'terribles', to avoid repeating the word. Well done!