6R biography

In 6R, we have been writing biographies this week. Below are two versions of a section of Alfie's biography of WWI figure Lord Kitchener; the first is his original, unedited version and the second is the final version once he had uplevelled his work, making small changes to improve it. 

Growing up in a strict family, Kitchener became extremely well-organised and hard-working, leading to be an strong leader later on in his life when he grew up. Due to the fact that Frances was ill, the family thought it would be best to move to Switzerland: where there would be fresh air. However, the decision did not chang anything and Kitchener's mother died that same year. Two years later, Horatio's father re-married and moved away; Kitchener, however, stayed to finish school.

Growing up in a strict family meant that Kitchener became extremely well-organised and hard-working; these skills would help him to be a strong leader later on in his life when he grew up. Due to the illness of Frances, the family thought it would be best to move to Switzerland; where there would be fresh air. However, the decision did not change her health and Kitchener's mother died that same year. Two years later, Horatio's father re-married and moved away; Kitchener, however, stayed there to carry on at school.