Friday, 30 January 2015

Narrative Writing by 5G

This week in Year 5 we have been writing our own narratives based on the story of Marcus, a slave who lived in Pompeii during the 79 A.D. eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. Before beginning our narratives, we wrote a letter from Marcus to the new character we had invented. Here is Harry's letter, we hope you enjoy it!

Villa Helius
Via del Corso 
Pompeii
22nd August 79 A.D.
Dear Brutus,
                    I am writing this letter in great haste. We are in grave danger and must escape Pompeii as soon as we can!

Earlier this morning, I was on my way to collect some laundry for my beastly master Festus but I never made it to the laundry house...Something else distracted me entirely! As I stumbled through the bustling streets (as squalid as always) I felt the ground begin to quake beneath my feet! Crash! All of a sudden the statue of Achilles at the entrance to the market began to wobble and I had to dive to avoid being squashed underneath it!

As I staggered to my feet a street vendor loomed over me. He told me that a fearsome beast lives under the monstrous mountain and causes the earth to rumble when it wakes! I was backing away from him when an old beggar lady approached me. She leaned in and murmured,'This world will burn, you need to escape boy!' 

So, we need to escape, I'm not leaving without you! I'll meet you by the servant's entrance at your master's villa, hopefully I'll have a plan by then...

Yours fearfully,
Marcus 


2 comments:

  1. This is a very impressive letter Harry! I particularly like how you have included all of the features of a letter and the wide range of punctuation you have included. Well done!

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  2. Fantastic Harry! This was a really useful bit of writing for 6F to try and up-level because it was so good! We decided the onomatopoeia used really transported us into the action and helped the overall 'tense' tone of the letter. Sara and Elle also liked the word-play at the end with: 'Yours fearfully'. Demi's next step was to have the old beggar lady to say a bit more including a metaphor about the volcano - if this metaphor was particularly crazy, it would really 'show' the reader what she was like without having to 'tell' the reader.

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