This week we have an extract from Annabell's character description for you to read. What effective features has she used in her writing?
Tripping over rocks whilst walking to the trenches and pushing other soldiers aside, John told another soldier to move. The other soldier stared into John's dark deathly eyes. The soldier did not move but John was very strong so he picked him up and pushed him away. Shivering with fear, the other soldier walked away.
John was twenty and had anger problems. He was herculean and could lift ten people at once. He didn't have any friends because he loved to argue. He could be quite scary, but did have a soft centre. He was very clean.
Annabell 6B
Wow Annabell! It is fantastic to see such progress in your writing. I like your choice of adjectives, such as herculean and deathly. To improve your writing further try to vary your sentence openers.
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