In 6R, we have been continuing to learn about writing effective character descriptions. This week, we have applied our learning to the context of our Theme, WWI, by writing descriptions of soldiers in the trenches.
Here is an extract from Gershon's description. What sort of soldier do you think this is?
Murky and moist, rainwater seeped through the holes of Private Baldrick's mud-coloured boots as he dragged himself up from the rotten, uneven floor.
Although now dirt-encrusted, his intelligent face was a glimmer of hope, his mouth was a thing of cruelty, and his plump cheeks underneath his jet black eyes glimpse out from behind their glasses.
To Gershon,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your character description. Here are my two ticks and a wich for you...
/ adjectives such as jet black.
/ sophisticated verbs such as glimpse
*MAPSO
I am looking forward to read another piece of your writing.
Myrah 6R
Wow Gershon! I love your interesting sentence openers and your carefully selected adjectives.
ReplyDeleteDear 6R,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for giving us the opportunity to read your wonderful description! Samantha particularly enjoyed reading her brother's work!
Our two ticks are:
- Figurative language
- Sophisticated connectives
Our one wish to make this an even more powerful piece of writing, would be to include an adverb, such as "rapidly" to describe how the water is seeping.
Looking forward to reading your blog again soon!
5E
Great use of powerful adjectives. Georgia (4E)
ReplyDeleteJet black eyes created a lovely image in my head. Amy (4E)
Dear 6R we have magpied some of your words for our wall, we might choose one as our word of the week, maybe we will choose glimmer
ReplyDelete