Friday, 3 October 2014

Letter to Matron from Aarthy in 5E

Still following our theme of Street Child, in Year 5 we have been writing persuasive letters to the strict Matron of a workhouse, asking for her permission to leave. We spent time thinking of imaginative scenarios as to why our character had been forced to enter the workhouse. 

Below is Aarthy's letter from 5E:
Work house
                                                        Room number 56
                                                                   Floor 2
                                                                HA3 ODW
                                                  Friday May 22nd 1849
Dear Matron,

               I am writing to you in the hope that you can let me go; you should because I am your favourite girl, Alice Kulan.

Firstly, when I wake up EVERY morning I breathe the cold, disgusting air and it’s like I am in prison or an ogre’s home which has just been bogey bombed! So as to survive, I have to force myself to eat the horrible but slightly nourishing food.

After all those reasons, you should and must let me get out of this sickening, ghastly place. If my dear, tender, mother were here there would be no point in asking you to let me go because I will rather stay here with her, however now she has unfortunately and miserably died. When you let me go, I will be set free and you…..will be a hero to all the other children who are trapped here, too. 

So, I beg you, please, please let me go!

Yours sincerely,

Alice Kulan
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3 comments:

  1. Miss Golding5 October 2014 at 11:05

    I like the appropriate sign off to your letter Aarthy. Remember to try and include a range of figurative language in your writing to make your letter even more emotive.

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  2. 6R8 October 2014 at 09:45

    Well done for using the structural features of a letter (e.g. address, date, salutation and signoff). We also liked some of the adjectives you chose (e.g. ghastly, tender and nourishing) but felt you could have uplevelled others (e.g. horrible and disgusting). Similarly, we were impressed by your range of punctuation, but remember to use semicolon before 'however' in this structure as it is not a conjunction (FANBOYS). Lastly, we thought you could have found a more appropriate comparison than the ogre's home, or developed the idea of being in prison instead.

    Well done again, and we look forward to reading the next piece of writing from 5E!

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  3. year5and6grove8 October 2014 at 10:32

    Well done on remembering all the features of a letter. Regarding the content, we thought that the persuasive language was effective, for example: must and should. We also liked the powerful adjectives, such as: tender, ghastly and nourishing. We thought the adverbs 'unfortunately' and 'miserably' could be up-levelled to just 'tragically'. From 6F.

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