This week in 5C we have been continuing our work on 'Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator'. In the book, Charlie and the gang are attacked by deadly aliens called Vermicious Knids. We made up our own aliens and wrote a character description.
Strangely, it resembled a nut but it had sharp nails on the
tips of its fingers. It was as tall as a sky scraper and as fat as an oompa
loompa. Its deep purple skin was covered in prickly hairs that gave off a
deadly, pungent smell. At the top of its body it had a colossal red eye that
could melt you with one stare. Surprisingly, it tiptoed inconspicuously on its
dainty feet.
By Ben
Wow Ben! What an improvement in your writing! I like your use of -ly openers and your attempts to use figurative language. I look forward to seeing how you incorporate elements of this character description in your narrative writing.
ReplyDeleteWe enjoyed reading your character description, Ben. We were impressed by your use of powerful adjectives (e.g. colossal, pungent) and adverbs (e.g. inconspicuously). To improve your writing further, we thought you could extend your use of figurative language and perhaps restructure some of your sentences to avoid repetition of "it".
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