Friday, 7 November 2014

5E's Space Poetry

This week in Year 5, we have been working on poetry with our new topic, Space. After listening to Holst's The Planets, we created our own poems about objects in space.

Here is Chanel's poem, from 5E. She wrote about the moon:

The moon,
Smiling gracefully down to Earth,
An eye which sleeps during the day.

Nocturnal Moon,
Hiding her sparkling face,
Behind the fluffy white whispering clouds.

Asteroids and rockets land, 
And painfully crash,
Going very deep,
Into her rock hard body,
Making holes everywhere,
With no respect.

She detests, 
The other planets,
With such terrible hate.

She is the sister of darkness,
With a very evil side,
So when she is coming,
Keep your belongings inside.

3 comments:

  1. I enjoyed reading your poem Chanel. I particularly like the way you have used adverbs and adverbial phrases. Well done!

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  2. Wow, Chanel! We loved your use of personification and descriptive phrases. Could you uplevel some of your verbs, e.g. "going" and "making holes"? We also weren't sure about your last line...

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  3. We think that you used personification well, especially when you said the moon was smiling. We also think that you set your stanzas out correctly. We were impressed with some of your vocabulary (i.e. nocturnal) however we thought that some words could be upleveled, for example 'hard'.

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