Friday, 7 November 2014

6F WW1 diary writing

6F have been looking at writing recounts in the context of WW1 diaries. This is the first paragraph of Amy's, where she has written from the perspective of Michael Morpurgo's character, Tommo.




17th December 1914
Dear Diary,
Christmas slowly walks towards us - there in no happiness though - everyone just wants to go home to their caring, loving families. They would not understand back at home; what it’s like. You see your fearless friends falling around you, row by row - like skittles. Everyone fading away until it is only you left. All of the brave soldiers here have hearts of courage. Why do they have to risk their lives? What is this all for? Nothing…

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4 comments:

  1. Owen Thomas8 November 2014 at 08:41

    Wow Amy. Great Diary, I really liked that your use of dashes, I also really liked the metaphor: You see your fearless friends falling around you, row by row - like skittles and there's a lot more things that I liked too. Owen.

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  2. Miss Golding8 November 2014 at 12:44

    Wow Amy! This is such an emotive piece of writing. I particularly like your use of figurative language and rhetorical questions. I can't wait to read the rest of your diary entry!

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  3. Mathusha Thiyakarajah11 November 2014 at 22:16

    Good Work Amy! I liked how you used a metaphor followed by a drop in clause. A drop in clause not using commas but hyphens! I wanted to read on but you ended with a cliff hanger!
    Well done! :)
    Mathusha

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  4. year5and6grove14 November 2014 at 16:00

    Thanks for a great read, Amy! We particularly liked your use of the adverbial phrase "row by row" and your use of alliteration with "fearless friends". Our wish would be to include some personification of the weapons, maybe for them to be staring at each other eye to eye.

    Thank you for a great read!

    5E

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